Breaking Up With E-Loan, Plus 175th Carnival of Personal Finance
Posted 25 October 2008 by Mr. B(This is a lament for the E-Loan Savings Account.)
Dear E-Loan,
Oh, how far your greatness has fallen! Back when you were young, you greeted me with your glorious 5.5% APY! How I rushed to you, and how you comforted me! I looked at you in wonder and with confidence, and I bestowed upon you all the riches that a poor grad student could muster. You were an inspiration. You were my first… online savings account.
Even during The Great Rate-Cutting Siege, you maintained your composure well. We all sacrificed during that enduring time of trial, but you managed keep your rate high. My faith in you was not shaken… much. Those other suitors tempted me, and I admit that I was tempted! But still, I clung to you….
Now, while picking through the wreckage left by the Emperor Bernanke and his Fed Funds pillagers, I must tell you something. Though it breaks my heart to say so, I think we should go our separate ways. We’ve had some good times, but you were not able to endure the Rate-Cutting Siege like I thought you would. You’ve languished in recent months, barely attempting to keep my interest, and every other suitor has exceeded you. You are but a shadow of your former self.
I have to admit: the final blow came when you started sneaking around behind my back. When you surreptitiously dropped your rate to a shocking 1% without telling me, I knew we were finished.
Even now, it’s like you just don’t care. You’ve dropped your rate so low, even the rarely competitive ING Direct is besting you. I wish I could say something like, “It’s not you… it’s me.” Alas E-Loan, I cannot. It IS your fault, and we are now finished. Though I will never forget you, I must seek my fortune elsewhere.
Not Yours Forever,
Mr. B

crappy E-Loan rates
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Thanks for allowing me that creative indulgence. In other news, thanks to J. Money over at Budgets Are Sexy for including my post on Making Granola from Scratch as part of the 175th Carnival of Personal Finance.

I’m going to be doing the same thing. E-Loan his pissed me off one too many times.