Interesting Money

I find it difficult to express how frustrated I am with Indymac Bank right now. If you have not read it, please see my Indymac Bank CD Account Opening Review that I posted earlier this month.

At the end of my review, I reported that Indymac was looking for my lost check. Once they found it, they were supposed to open my CD with the guaranteed rate of 5.15% APY. Here is a continuation of the timeline. Keep in mind that I began what should have been the simple process of opening an account on January 21.

February 11 (Day 22)

After noticing that the check STILL has not been withdrawn from my account, I call Indymac again. This time I spoke with Dwayne, and after giving him the USPS tracking number for the lost check (again), he put me on hold. While on hold, I passed the time by mulling in my mind why on earth I decided to open an account with these people in the first place.

Eventually, he returns, and he tells me that he walked a memo over to his manager, and that she will take care of the issue personally. Yeah right, Dwayne. While I’d like to believe you, past experiences leave me doubtful.

Anyway, he tells me to call back in a few days if the check has not been withdrawn.

February 15 (Day 26)

Of course, NOTHING has happened yet. The money is still sitting in my checking account. Of course, it’s time to give them yet another call. By now, I’m getting really good at navigating the Indymac automated phone system.

This time, a man with a thick Indian accent answers. He says his name is “Alan.” Yeah right.

Ok Alan, I give up. I have no idea what’s going on anymore. Here’s my account number. Enlighten me as to what’s happening with my account.

“Alan” puts me on hold for a while. While on hold, I pass the time mentally dropping virtual nuclear warheads on Indymac headquarters. When he returns, he tells me that he cannot find my check. No sh*t, Alan. He then tells me that I put a “stop payment” on the check. Huh? No I didn’t! Silence ensues. During the silence, I envision a plague of locusts descending on Indymac.

“Alan” then mutters that they have given up looking for the check, and that I should therefore put a “stop payment” on it. However, I can still lock in the original rate of 5.15% APY if I mail them ANOTHER check. When I ask him if there is a cutoff date for this next check, he says I would need to mail it so that it arrives in two business days.

Ok, wow. I’m speechless.

Let’s recap here: I’ve spent almost a MONTH trying to open a CD account at Indymac. First of all, my ACH transfer failed because Indymac refused to pull from FNBO Direct. Second of all, I had to overnight a check them ($16). Third, they lost the check, so I have to place a “stop payment” on it ($30 fee). Now, I’m supposed to mail another check so that it arrives in two business day ($5 minimum).

Meanwhile, the thousands of dollars that I want to deposit have been sitting in my checking account earning no interest for almost a month!

Pardon me for objecting Indymac (and “Alan”), but this is unjust! After summarizing the situation for “Alan”, I asked if there is anything Indymac can do to reimburse my expenses. After all, it is NOT my fault that they lost my check. Of course, he put me of hold for 20 minutes. I spent the time virtually pouring Mountain Dew on all of Indymac’s computers.

“Alan” eventually returned, but informed me that he could not get ahold of his supervisor. So, he claims, he will call me back in an hour or two. Yeah right.

And that, my friends, is where I currently stand. I’m sitting here waiting for “Alan” (or another Indian CSR of equal or lesser value) to call me back. My prediction is that no one will call, I will call them back (again), and that they will NOT offer any reimbursement for the fees I have to pay.

I also predict that I will end up telling Indymac to piss off, close my account, and that I’ll end up spending the evening envisioning a massive army of rabid, laser-wielding, ankle-biting gophers attacking Indymac’s citadel.

Stay tuned.